This is why my blog is called Honest Faith. I'm sure to learn something from each one experience as I write about it and my hope is to help someone through my personal experiences. No matter the effects my life may have on someone, it is extremely important that I write about it -- I must write it out. That's because I'm a writer. I cannot deny or ignore the calling inside.
Lighthouse moments where God heard my prayers and kept me from being shipwrecked.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Let it go and see if it was meant to be
There is a "famous unknown" saying, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn't then it was never meant to be." I walked away from buying the used table I wanted but today was a completely new day. Two days ago I really wanted this table and could hardly give up the idea but I had to let it go. Today everything worked out so that I could go and get it. What changed in 48 hours? My attitude! Now I have the table and it is a perfect fit for our family.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
a new table - continued
How can you be so full of faith and confidence one day and then the next day the rug gets pulled out from under you and you find yourself completely face down on the cold floor feeling like your guts have been kicked out of you. Emotions! They are so fickle - washing to and fro like waves in the ocean.
I struggled today over whether or not to buy a used dining room set. I could not believe this bargain would created so much turmoil, who knew. So I have this need, yes, that's right I called it a need. I NEEDED a new dining room table set. The one we have is real hard wood but it is an antique and two out of the three leafs are warped and don't fit perfectly. Its still a very good set but just not my style in our new house. Its in the basement right now.
We've been eating off the patio table, which I moved inside for the winter. The chairs are from the wooden dining set. The table is too low to go with the chairs -- all in all its not a good fit.
I went on Kijiji and found the perfect table and it was only $300. I was so excited because after all the checking around I could see that it was a great deal. After looking over some details and talking more to the current owner, I knew this was the one we needed -- a modern, up beat touch in great shape.
I committed to driving an hour to pick it up but something happened. Although I had been wrestling with the expense, justifying this big purchase, I didn't want to admit that I didn't have perfect peace about it. I was in turmoil over the money because I couldn't afford it. When I drove into town to get the money from the bank, I did something I don't understand. Instead of just returning my tax accountant's phone call I decided today, of all days, to stop at her office and discuss our tax return issues.
Leaving the tax accountant's office was a complete turn around. I didn't bother going to the bank once I found out how bad our financial situation was. I literally dragged myself to my truck and drove home crying.
When I first got home I could not even face my husband to drop this bomb on him. I kept it to myself. Why do we do that? Why is it in our nature to protect others and carry the burden ourselves. Its stupid but I kept it to myself for a little while.
I called the people who had the table for sale and told them I couldn't buy it after all and that we wouldn't be coming. It broke my heart. I opened my laptop, sat down and began looking for a new job. Eventually my husband came in to check on me and I told him why I was so upset finally. I thought, 'why not -- I need to share this burden with you so maybe you can feel some of this pain too'.
Here's the good part. My husband listened and walked around to wrap his arms around me (with a little coaxing and a suggestion as to what would make me feel better). He told me that God had brought us here for a reason and even though we don't know exactly what that is all about, we can have faith in just believing that and hold on to our faith that God will not let us down. He will take care of us and He hears our prayers, He knows our needs and we can trust him to watch over us.
That was exactly what I eneeded to hear. I felt better just knowing I wasn't alone -- my husband was with me on my side and God was with me guiding us to our destiny. Thank God for his divine care and guidance. I had tgo go to work today too but that's an entire different story.
No matter how you feel. No matter what your circumstances are, you can put your trust in God.
Proverbs 3:5-8 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes, fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh and strength to your bones."
I struggled today over whether or not to buy a used dining room set. I could not believe this bargain would created so much turmoil, who knew. So I have this need, yes, that's right I called it a need. I NEEDED a new dining room table set. The one we have is real hard wood but it is an antique and two out of the three leafs are warped and don't fit perfectly. Its still a very good set but just not my style in our new house. Its in the basement right now.
We've been eating off the patio table, which I moved inside for the winter. The chairs are from the wooden dining set. The table is too low to go with the chairs -- all in all its not a good fit.
I went on Kijiji and found the perfect table and it was only $300. I was so excited because after all the checking around I could see that it was a great deal. After looking over some details and talking more to the current owner, I knew this was the one we needed -- a modern, up beat touch in great shape.
I committed to driving an hour to pick it up but something happened. Although I had been wrestling with the expense, justifying this big purchase, I didn't want to admit that I didn't have perfect peace about it. I was in turmoil over the money because I couldn't afford it. When I drove into town to get the money from the bank, I did something I don't understand. Instead of just returning my tax accountant's phone call I decided today, of all days, to stop at her office and discuss our tax return issues.
Leaving the tax accountant's office was a complete turn around. I didn't bother going to the bank once I found out how bad our financial situation was. I literally dragged myself to my truck and drove home crying.
When I first got home I could not even face my husband to drop this bomb on him. I kept it to myself. Why do we do that? Why is it in our nature to protect others and carry the burden ourselves. Its stupid but I kept it to myself for a little while.
I called the people who had the table for sale and told them I couldn't buy it after all and that we wouldn't be coming. It broke my heart. I opened my laptop, sat down and began looking for a new job. Eventually my husband came in to check on me and I told him why I was so upset finally. I thought, 'why not -- I need to share this burden with you so maybe you can feel some of this pain too'.
Here's the good part. My husband listened and walked around to wrap his arms around me (with a little coaxing and a suggestion as to what would make me feel better). He told me that God had brought us here for a reason and even though we don't know exactly what that is all about, we can have faith in just believing that and hold on to our faith that God will not let us down. He will take care of us and He hears our prayers, He knows our needs and we can trust him to watch over us.
That was exactly what I eneeded to hear. I felt better just knowing I wasn't alone -- my husband was with me on my side and God was with me guiding us to our destiny. Thank God for his divine care and guidance. I had tgo go to work today too but that's an entire different story.
No matter how you feel. No matter what your circumstances are, you can put your trust in God.
Proverbs 3:5-8 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes, fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh and strength to your bones."
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